Molly Blake, the wife of a Marine Corps
aviator, is the Web editor for Blue Star Families, a nonprofit organization
representing military families. She is also a freelance writer interested in
issues that affect military families. She and her husband live in Yuma, AZ.
When the fresh, crisp issue of The
Atlantic arrives in the mail, I flip to the back page where Jeffrey Goldberg
never fails to make me laugh.
Not this latest issue. The doe-eyed
baby in a woman’s briefcase trumped Mr. Goldberg’s snarky repartee with
readers. I sat down and read the entire piece.
The article, “Why Women Still Can’t Have it All” by Anne-Marie Slaughter appeared
in the July/August issue and went viral. Friends including fellow writers,
college mates and colleagues have shared the link many times over on my
Facebook page. In the piece, Slaughter deconstructs her struggles as an
educated, intelligent woman who, while raising two children and working in a
high-level government job, grapples with work-family balance and, more
important, discusses the need for a major cultural change.
“Only when women wield power in
sufficient numbers will we create a society that genuinely works for all women.
That will be a society that works for everyone,” Ms. Slaughter wrote.
And then a July 11 article titled “12 Great Jobs for Military Spouses”
appeared online and similarly went viral among military spouses.
Melba Newsome’s article included “12 Ways Military Spouses Can Turn Their Education
and/or Skills Into a Moneymaking Venture Regardless of Location” and was
hammered by one reader as “sounding more like a list of summer jobs for teens
than a good sampling of jobs for educated and motivated military spouses.” The
list included errand runner, dog walker, and baby sitter, proving Blue Star
Families, Military Spouse
Employment Partnership, all of whom work tirelessly to
promote the hiring of military spouses — still have a tremendous amount of work
to do.
Since meeting my husband 15 years ago
I’ve watched as many of my cohorts pulled the plug on their careers before they
had a chance to establish themselves professionally. I refused to believe that
I had to sacrifice my profession because my husband deployed, leaving me
to man the house and children. I adjusted my goals and altered my career
trajectory — but I wouldn’t just throw in the towel. I have a master’s degree
and a college education. But it wasn’t an easy fight, mind you, especially
after the war began. I’ve certainly made compromises, and while Ms. Slaughter
admits she “could no longer be both the parent and the professional I wanted to
be,” most military spouses don’t stand a chance being the parent, the
professional and the military spouse they want to be.
Moving, spousal deployments and
geographic inflexibility make working in a traditional career almost
impossible. Instead of leading many mil spouses toward fulfilling careers, the
lifestyle leads some toward odd jobs with little room for advancement. All of
this frustration despite the fact, as Ms. Newsome reminds us, that 84 percent
of military spouses have some college, 25 percent have a bachelor’s degree and
10 percent have an advanced degree.
I’m not dismissing dog walkers, direct
sales reps or substitute teachers. Michelle Moll, a college-educated Marine
Corps spouse, ran an enormously successful dog walking company while her
husband was stationed in Cherry Point, N.C. Today she and another military
spouse run a profitable Web site. Many military spouses chose to care for
children in their home, wait tables or sell handcrafted goods online. Amber
Willis and April Crosier, Marine Corps spouses, sell funky bags and e-reader
cases on Etsy, an online marketplace for handmade items. Both are obviously
talented and rack up impressive sales records.
But when articles like Ms. Newsome’s
appear, the efforts that encourage companies to hire military spouses for our
abilities, education, passion and skills are weakened. Her piece pigeonholed
the one percent who serve our nation and in doing so, discouraged milspouses
from thinking beyond earning a few bucks when we should be pushing for what Ms.
Slaughter calls “a more honest and productive discussion about real solutions
to the problems faced by professional women.”
The firestorm of criticism posted
online in response to the Newsome piece, however, proves that spouses are
passionate about the issue and that there is a need for a paradigm shift — one
that encourages military spouses to continue actively seeking out careers in
fields ripe for advancement: technology, medicine, higher education and others.
And states should continue to ease licensing restrictions for nurses, physical
therapists, counselors, real estate agents and other professions that require a
certification to work — just one of many things they could do to make military
spouses’ careers more portable.
“All I could think was that they forgot
to add stripper to the list,” said Judith Vogler, again on the Blue Star
Families Facebook page. “I had to double check and make sure it wasn’t an
article from The Onion,” added Jess Paden.
We’ve been at war for more than a
decade and a lot of effort has gone into improving the lives of the military
family. I have confidence that this effort will pay off, and perceived setbacks
like Ms. Newsome’s article will be long forgotten.
Maybe in the future a mil spouse will
write a front-page story about her successful career that was facilitated by
the efforts of Mrs. Obama, Dr. Biden and the countless organizations and
individuals who are trying to make a difference in career options for military
families. I’d read that article ahead of Goldberg, too.
